Slick’s room, Monday the 1st of June, 13:26
Morning all. Be not alarmed that I am writing so early- just came back from an exam and I can’t take a nap because I have another one tomorrow morning which I need to revise for, so I’m awake, and blogging is my chosen method of procrastination right now.
I know that I’ve ready written a rant against religion as a blog, so today I promise I will keep any religion-bashing to an absolute minimum: instead, I’d like to explore the flipside of that particular coin and attempt to convey to you all a little of why I love being an atheist- so, if I do mention religion, it will be a valid comparison, and not a mean-spirited grumble. Or so I hope.
For me, the idea that we are alone and unsupervised in the universe, that man alone is the measure of all things, is both terrifying and, more importantly, exhilarating. My form of atheism allows me to see the universe as some sort of colossal party or theme-park- one without adult supervision. The fact that we, as humans, are free to carve our own destiny out of the cosmos fills me with a profound sense of pride and gratitude at the hand fate has dealt me- I feel like I am standing on the precipice of a great void, and that I have been taught the secret of flight.
For me, the people are divided into two basic types. When faced with the universe, with all its majesty, its cruelty, its absurdity and wonder and pain and joy, ask themselves: why? Why has this happened? What is the purpose of all this? Typically, these people find God as the answer- God, for them, is the fuzzy blanket which they hide behind, and keeps the scary questions away from them at night. Some of these people actually don’t choose religion- instead they put their faith in science or philosophy- science, they cry, will save us. it will answer our questions and light up the great dark void which lies before us. For me however, science is at best a torch shone into the dark of night: however bright the torch becomes (and I am indeed all for science becoming brighter and brighter as it were) it will never banish the darkness, never restore purpose to purposeless cosmos.
For me, however, the real question is not “why” but rather “why not?” Why not say yes to the universe as it is? Why not embrace the darkness, and fill the void with laughter and song? Life is exactly and only what we want it to be: in our hands we have the power of Gods, so rise up I say, and use it! For me, atheism is the ultimate affirmation of life, exactly as it comes to us on this day, in this very moment. Theism tells us “thou shalt not”, but atheism tells us “thou shall!”- atheism is the answer to my question: there is no reason why not!
Traditionally, religion has held that God has a purpose in mind for us, but I say we should make a purpose for ourselves. In a way, theism is analogous to childhood- God is our mother, our protector and our teacher, showing us right from wrong and guiding us down the correct path. But we cannot be perpetually children- the day comes when we must make our own choices, leave the warm maternal bosom and live for ourselves. Theism means submitting your will entirely to Gods: I call that slavery. (Ok, maybe I’m harshing on religion a little, but I think this one is validly in context.) I firmly believe that no-one, not even God, should impose their will on another, in the same way as a mother has no right to tell a fully grown child how to run their life.
I wish I could tell you that all this came to me in some sort of epiphany, that I was struggling along in my vague agnosticism and suddenly the truth hit me like a thunderbolt. As it happens, that is not how it was. I remember believing in God as a child. As I grew into adolescence the problems of believing became more and more painfully obvious to me, and for a while I entertained a kind of sceptical agnosticism, acknowledging the likelihood of something being the ultimate grounding of the universe, but accepting that I couldn’t know for sure what kind of being it was. Francis Bacon once said “a little philosophy makes a man an atheist, but a lot more reconciles him to religion”. Well, either I have just not studied enough philosophy yet, or that is bullshit- because the more philosophy I study, the more atheistic I become. Today in fact, doing an exam on the Philosophy of religion has inspired me to write this very blog. Regardless, it was not really until university that I fully embraced atheism- and again, I couldn’t tell you the exact day or moment, but when the realisation came, it came hard- I realised that for years I had been arguing against religion while maintaining my agnosticism, and I could not for the life of me think why. Since then, all I have learned has simply confirmed my beliefs- sometimes I wonder whether this is simply intellectual arrogance, but it is simply a fact of the matter that, every time a new religious concept or argument is introduced to me by a lecturer, the very same lecturer proceeds to dissect the argument and shoot it down. Maybe I had natural atheistic tendencies, but I don’t think they would ever have been fully realised were it not for my A level religious studies course (taught, interestingly, by two teachers, one of whom had her application to become ordained rejected by the Church because she was a woman, and one who, as far as I’m aware, is now undergoing or has undergone ordination) and the Durham university Philosophy and Theology syllabus. And for these things I am thankful.
There is a common misconception that atheism is morally bankrupt, that its adherents are miserable or amoral, anarchists and suicidals. Well, I stand (or rather sit) before you as living proof to the contrary. It is important to remember that, just because we don’t have God, doesn’t mean we can’t have values- after all, there are many well developed philosophical systems, such as utilitarianism, which teach us how to be good with no reference to God. Most of the atheists I know are happy, decent, intelligent people who, as far as I am aware, do not suffer from moral/existential angst about the lack of a God to ground their worldviews- and if I ever have such existential crises, it is no doubt because I am encouraged to do so by my course. I hate to be cliched, but I should point at this point how much evil has been done in the name of religion, and ask if it is really atheism which is morally bankrupt: in a theistic system, anything God says, goes- or rather, anything which anyone gets it into to their head that God has said (e.g “kill all the fags”) is apparently A-ok.
I’d like to leave you all with one of my favourite images in philosophy. Nietzsche, who was a more passionate and committed atheist than I could ever hope to be, had an idea called “Eternal Reccurence of the same”. Imagine, he said, that the life you have lived will be repeated, over and over without change, throughout infinity- all the same regrets, pains, joys, loves, again and again in eternal sequence. Would you want that to happen? The ultimate “yes” to life is to actively want something like this to be the case:, to lead a life which you would be happy to live again and again for all eternity. Now that is the kind of life I wish to lead.
Foreverer and ever, Amen
Slick
I’m interested now to hear what you think of Groundhog Day
I like that movie- although I’ve not seen it in ages. As it pertains to my blog, I’d say this: doesn’t he have a lot off fun when he realises whats happening? I appreciate that ultimately he gets bored and the film moves on, but its an interesting thought anyway. I’d also point out that reliving a day is very different form reliving an entire life- If my life started again in the exact same way from birth, right this moment, I think I can say I’d be (relatively) happy, short a few regrets. If my day started looping itself, on the other hand, that would be hateful- I woke up early to do an exam and have spent the rest of the day revising… and my hope is that, as time goes by, the regrets seem more and more and minor and the good times only get better- that, were it possible for me to think as they put me in the ground, I would be thinking “Wooo! Let’s do that again!”
akso are we meant to be aware that our lives are repeating themselves or are we blissfully ignorant, presumably if we were made aware we would try to change stuff, if not then why would we care?
I think the deal is that basically you are not aware “during” each life, but the point being if someone came and said to you “would you like to live this same life forever and ever, with no differences” you should be able to say “hell yes”.